We could use a man like George Washington again!

I just got back from my martial arts class. I am enjoying it greatly though I am completely spent. Thought I would send you over to here to read of George Washington’s farewell speech. It is an excellent read and I would say wise council that applies even today – funny how truth is like that. He knew what he was talking about when he said:

“All obstructions to the execution of the laws, all combinations and associations, under whatever plausible character, with the real design to direct, control, counteract, or awe the regular deliberation and action of the constituted authorities, are destructive of this fundamental principle, and of fatal tendency. They serve to organize faction, to give it an artificial and extraordinary force; to put, in the place of the delegated will of the nation the will of a party, often a small but artful and enterprising minority of the community; and, according to the alternate triumphs of different parties, to make the public administration the mirror of the ill-concerted and incongruous projects of faction, rather than the organ of consistent and wholesome plans digested by common counsels and modified by mutual interests.

However combinations or associations of the above description may now and then answer popular ends, they are likely, in the course of time and things, to become potent engines, by which cunning, ambitious, and unprincipled men will be enabled to subvert the power of the people and to usurp for themselves the reins of government, destroying afterwards the very engines which have lifted them to unjust dominion.”

That speech only gets better. Go on over and check it out. I am headed for the hot water bottle and a beer.

Talk to ya soon.

Tar-Heels need to Tar and Feather!

You can skip the news for a day and count on the insanity being there when you get back. Let’s begin, shall we:

We have an article over at the Star News Online that has some jack-assed republican in the North Carolinian state Senate selling elevator tickets in a one story building.

Raleigh Citing the controversy surrounding the Dakota Fanning film Hounddog, the leader of the state Senate Republicans says he wants the government to review scripts before cameras start rolling in North Carolina.

First thing that pissed me off, why in the hell is everyone involved with Hounddog still walking around as free citizens? I have not seen this smear of a movie, but if what I am hearing is true – lude and lascivious acts on a minor, reckless endangerment of a minor, etc. The girl is 12 years old!

And yeah Senator Swaggert, that’s the ticket. I want you idiots to review scripts before the subsequent movies are shot in Tar-Heel country because you hold the high-ground when it comes to morality. Ah, but my friend, the article only gets better.

That system, said state Sen. Phil Berger, R-Rockingham, would apply only to films seeking the state's lucrative filmmaker incentive, which refunds as much as 15 percent of what productions spend in North Carolina from the state treasury.

"Why should North Carolina taxpayers pay for something they find objectionable?" said Berger, who is having proposed legislation drafted.

Hey dip shit, why are North Carolina taxpayers paying ANY taxes to have some beanie wearing sycophant come and burn some film in your state? Refunds up to 15% of the production costs of monies spent in NC while filming? Is this a joke? It is called a movie ticket you mental midget. If the fine citizens of NC or any other state want to see a movie, they can bee-bopp their ass up to the clueless teen, entrenched behind the dirty glass at the movie theater, and buy the “refund” to production costs.

"We want to see if this film is doable and a good investment for the people of the state," he said.

Yeah, and a few more intellectual statements like that and I might have enough fertilizer for my tomatoes.

Get yerself over there...

Working on a post, but this ain't it. Here is some stuff worth reading.

My friend, Dave Bean, is pumping out quality prose at such a pace that I am getting down-right jealous. I couldn't write like that if I had a full month of sober and Strunk and White editing my rambles! If you haven't been there...as my Poppa used to say, GO ON GITONOUTTAHEER!

When your are done with that, you need to jump over to Blue Collar Republican and get an eyeful of news and opinion. After that you will need something to keep that aneurysm, that will be pushing against your skull, from exploding; I would recommend going over and reading another southerner's blog posts that will have you laughing so hard you will damn near swallow your tongue. His name is Liam Jackson and he is a published author of a book called, Offspring. I haven't read it yet, but I plan on picking it up as soon as the Mrs. gives me my allowance.

Talk to ya soon.

Keel-Yawl

Looks like I will become a student again. This time, it will be in martial arts. I have had a smattering of instruction in Tae Kwon Do, nasty little tricks taught by a few friends, and more recently Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu. There was also a miniscule amount of hand to hand training while I was a volunteer for Uncle Sam, but not enough to count (does Friday afternoon Kung Fu Theater?). Yes, that’s right, a military man. I spent six years in the Navy, working as a policeman for the United Nations. We just had to wear those disco bell bottoms instead of fancy pants with utility belts. Who in the hell can sing Y.M.C.A. properly, without the appropriate attire? But I digress.

A friend I work with recommended I take a little trip over to the town next door and check out this little school that offers multiple martial arts styles at a reasonable rate. Said gentleman’s daughter is dating one of the instructors and aforementioned father was impressed with previously disclosed boyfriend’s exhibited character (That was politician for - he liked the guy).

“First two lessons are free”, he says. Bastard knew that would get me all excited. So tonight I decided to cart my butt over to the school and let me just say ahead of time, I am glad I did. “Why?” you ask. Well just hold on a minute and let me tell you.

Driving out to the place, I passed it twice. When my friend told me the address and suite number, I automatically assumed that it was in an office park of some sort. A few phone calls and hanging my head out the window to scream obscenities at people who don’t put address numbers on their buildings later, I found it. Not an office building at all, but a warehouse. Now you uppity types can sneer if you want, but driving up to a martial arts school that his housed in a warehouse is a point in their favor, in my opinion. You see, I dislike pretentiousness. You see some schools of the martial variety that are all flashy posters, bright lights, neon signs, ‘We are card toting members of 15 martial arts associations’ airbrushed on their windows, and have an ATM machine just inside the front door. To put it mildly, they suck a big one.

So I get out and approach the building to find the exterior door propped open by a citronella bucket. Any of you in the south will know why. For the rest of you, the bugs down here are big enough to require clearance to land. Entering the dojo, my first impression was a good one. The room had tall ceilings, a large mat covering otherwise unpainted cement floors, old pictures of past students and friends of the instructors, various weapons, and the faintest odor of honest sweat.

The younger gentleman, who was to be my instructor for the night, met me with a firm handshake and quick appraisal – more positive signs. We chatted briefly of my past martial experience and what my expectations were for the class. I told him I would like to watch the class proceedings first and possibly join in later. With a nod he returned to the mat and his students. Given the choice, the class chose to work with the rattan sticks. Let me explain, tonight was a class in the arts of the Filipino Combat System. I watched as the sensei worked with the students in showing various techniques with the rattan. After he got his charges working on drills, he again asked me if I would like to join in. I agreed with a grin and kicked off my sneakers and socks, removed the plethora of tools from my cargo shorts and joined him on the mat.

I am not shy in saying that I don’t know something when I don’t. So after picking up a stick, I informed him that I really didn’t know any techniques in the FCS and I would love it if he just started from the very beginning. In this instance, that would be the proper way to hold the stick and we could go from there. He was an excellent teacher, and that is saying a lot. I have found being accomplished at a skill or set of skills, does not necessarily make one an accomplished teacher. He was overly gentle at first, which I informed him with a grin that he could work the maneuvers on me and if the pain approached my threshold, I was very familiar with the tap technique (tapping out). He nodded and stepped it up by increments as we went along. By the end, he was twisting, locking, turning, and dropping me like a vow of celibacy on a sultry Mardi Gras night.

No, I am not a masochist, but if you can’t show me that something will work on someone fresh through the door, I am not interested in what you have to teach. I was full of questions and he answered each to my satisfaction. Another plus for me, is the entire time he spent with me, he never lost track of where his students were and what they were doing. He would give them verbal instructions to correct a technique and would often excuse himself to step in and teach by showing where he felt it was needed. The pauses didn’t bother me in the least because being the nosy redneck that I am, I followed him and listened to what he had to say.

Before I knew it, time was up. We shook hands again, bowed, and took our conversation off the mat. My positive impression only increased when I inquired about prices. The gentleman quoted a price and I tried not to show my shock. I wondered if they were able to make any money at those rates (silently – I am not a complete moron) and my questions were answered when I was told that if I wrote a check that I should just make it out to the warehouse owner. That’s right, they just wanted to make sure to pay the rent and they were satisfied with whatever was left over to divide between the instructors. Let me tell you, it can’t be much. That ain’t just saying you have love for the art; that is walking the walk and a huge positive in my little southern book.

Just to cover all of my bases, I posed an inquiry to the wondrous folks over at the Animal List and I don’t truly expect to hear anything negative about this group. So unless some piece of drastic information comes my way, I will be joining up and working off the rest of this baby fat.

Keel-yawl! (That’s a southern karate yell, you hippy)

Talk to ya soon.

Look Ma, Bubba can read...

I picked up a book at the local library called American Sphinx, The Character of Thomas Jefferson by Joseph J. Ellis. In conversation, I have heard Jefferson quoted on both ends of the political spectrum. I have seen him hailed as a Saint and as cursed as a devil. I have read but a few books on the man, and most take to one extreme or the other. But this book caught my eye as it promised to give an unadulterated view of a historical icon. An excerpt from the dust jacket reads:

“In American Sphinx, Ellis sifts the facts shrewdly from the legends and the rumors, treading a path between vilification and hero worship in order to formulate a plausible portrait of a man who still hover[s] over the political scene like one of those dirigibles cruising above a crowded football stadium, flashing words of inspiration to both teams”

I will let you know. Objectivity is an elusive animal to catch. But if Joseph Ellis can come close to living up to the promises on the jacket, I will be more than satisfied. More on this later.

Nothing to see here...move along

The good fighters of old first put themselves beyond the possibility of defeat, and then waited for an opportunity of defeating the enemy. – Sun Tzu

So it appears that our ‘friends’ the Chinese have been busy. While the rest of the world has been looking toward the Middle East, the Chinese seem to be wasting little time in building up military strength and tactical efficiency. Here are a few things that concern me about our giant neighbor:

Let’s start with this article concerning the Chinese shooting down one of their satellites. Perhaps this was a not-so-subtle reply to the changes in our National Space Policy where there looks to be a notable shift toward emphasizing security issues over the previous scientific. Our policy now also asserts the right to deny access to space to anyone “hostile to U.S. interest”. Hmm.

After reading this article, I decided to step out onto that ‘information superhighway’ and see just what one redneck, of average intelligence, could find out about the Chinese.

My first stop was the Annual Report to Congress – Military Power of the People’s Republic of China. This is a rather lengthy report, but it is an eye opener on how far China has come and where we surmise they plan to go. Here are a few interesting excerpts from the report:

“The People’s Liberation Army (PLA) is in the process of long-term transformation from a mass army designed for protracted wars of attrition on its territory to a more modern force capable of fighting short duration, high intensity conflicts against high-tech adversaries. Today, China’s ability to sustain military power at a distance is limited. However, as the 2006 Quadrennial Defense Review Report notes, “China has the greatest potential to compete militarily with the United States and field disruptive military technologies that could over time offset traditional U.S. military advantages.”

“China’s leaders have yet to adequately explain the purposes or desired end-states of their military expansion. Estimates place Chinese defense expenditure at two to three times officially disclosed figures. The outside world has little knowledge of Chinese motivations and decision-making or of key capabilities supporting PLA modernization.”

“PLA amphibious exercises and training in 2005 focused on Taiwan. In September 2005 the PLA held one large-scale, multi-service exercise that dealt explicitly with a Taiwan invasion. China has conducted 11 amphibious exercises featuring a Taiwan scenario in the past 6 years.”

“China continues to employ covert and illegal means to acquire foreign military and dual use technology. Individuals allegedly engaged in illicit technology transfers to China were arrested in the United States and Russia in the fall of 2005.”

On second thought, look here, there are just too many interesting quotes from that report. You are just going to have to go and read it for yourself.

Once you have read that, you can bounce on over to here and see what the Council on Foreign Relations has to say about a Chinese threat.

You put all of this together and I think we need to be keeping more than a casual eye on our Communist 'friends'. While I don’t think that China is an immediate threat to the U.S. mainland, connecting the dots looks to be drawing a giant arrow at Taiwan (or is it a middle finger?). The massive build up is not, in my opinion, an overkill Taiwanese engagement stratagem, but , in part, a hedge to keep America in check when they do decide to take back their wicked step children. Let’s also not forget that China is a monstrous consumer of resources and I think she has her eye on more than just Taiwan (second reason). Last but not least, let us keep in mind that she is a communist country and that she has a lot of folks to keep in line. Peaceably pacified, I think they title it. To put a satyrical face on the name PLA (Peoples Liberation Army) I think of Monty Python and the Holy Grail when Lancelot (PLA) comes to liberate his brother in arms Sir Galahad (the people) from the Castle Anthrax.

To keep this particular post from getting long and to keep from getting pissed off (currently in a good mood), I won’t even talk about the free up-skirts we have been giving China in all manner of military, tactical, and security issues. I will save that for another day.

Talk to ya soon.

Woo - Woo

It seems that things have returned to a semblance of normalcy and the issue that I needed to take care of has been addressed (when it got up, I addressed it again!). So to kick things off, I thought I would share an email with you that had me checking my house for spy cameras.

Enjoy.

How women shower:

Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.

Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.

Look at your womanly physique in the mirror - make mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.

Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone.

Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins .

Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.

Condition your hair with grapefruit mint-conditioner.

Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red.

Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash.

Rinse conditioner off hair.

Shave armpits and legs.

Turn off shower.

Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower.

Spray mold spots with Tilex.

Get out of shower.

Dry with a towel the size of a small country.

Wrap hair in super absorbent towel.

Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head. If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.


HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN:

Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile.

Walk naked to the bathroom.

If you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the woo- woo sound.

Look at your manly physique in the mirror admiring the size of your wiener and scratch your butt.

Get in the shower.

Wash your face.

Wash your armpits.

Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off.

Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower.

Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area.

Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs sticking on the soap.

Wash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk.

Pee.

Rinse off and get out of shower.

Partially dry off.

Fail to notice water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time.

Admire wiener size in mirror again.

Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on.

Return to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the woo-woo sound again.

Throw wet towel on bed.

Woo - Woo! Talk to ya soon.

Break

Taking a break for a bit. I have a few things that require more of my attention. Talk to ya soon.

Eh...Fiction?

I ran across an email I had sent out a while ago (4 years) to a site that offered cooperative fiction writing. Although it was only an intro and ran but a few paragraphs, it was my first honest attempt into the fiction writing universe. The original mail was meant to be a story starter, but shortly after submitting it, the site went down and never came back. I took that as an omen and never bothered looking for another venue to pursue it. Yes, I know I could have not used that as a lame excuse to stop and just pursued the story for myself - I didn't. Anyway, I came across it by accident in my 'Sent' folder and thought I would post it up here.

Yes, I know it sucks but I ain't making you read it. Remember all those buttons at the top of your browser that can take you to your 'Happy Place' if you don't want to stay.

---
No visions of epic struggles nor battlefields of glory danced in my eyes as I approached that fabled city. I came because I must. I tread the path of duty, every step bringing me closer to the gallows, the end of my morality. He knew this would end me. He knew he placed the blade against my throat and knew I would not, could not, withdraw.

With the last of his strength, he had given voice to my demise, “Will you do this for me, my son? Will you go to the Stone Hall and give yourself into its service, for the time required? You must, for the hope of your salvation, you must see that you are wrong.”

I could not have held as much love, nor burned with as much hate, as I did the moment that question came. There was a duality in him; I saw it line his features and burn in his eyes. They held triumph and sadness in such a coupling that it seemed he would give cry of victory and a wail of mourning in the same mighty breath. I had only nodded acceptance. It would be so. He had won. He had lost.

As I watched the light begin to fade from his eyes, I stood and turned from him. I would remember his fire and not its diminishing. I felt that all of Shar should grieve, for it had just lost a noble. A noble, not in status, but a man of honor that the men of those Great Houses frequently boasted of, but never held in their slippery grasp. He was a Shari soldier, he was a father, and he had set my feet on a path that both I dare not tread upon and dare not stray. So it was that my father passed into the Embrace, taking a piece of my soul for companionship.

And so it is, that I go to the place I most hate and least understand. Duty demands it. But, I will find the answers that none of my kin could give. I will know the truth behind the meddling. I will know the reasons why lives are so easily used up and tossed aside in the name of ‘Peace’. I will have these answers and I will serve.

Duty is the price demanded and honor the currency accepted. For the sake of him, for the sake of me, I dare not be found lacking.

Acts of War

I had intended to write about something entirely different tonight until I came across this article. It appears a group of armed gunmen stormed a site manned by National Guardsmen in Arizona. “Those guardsman were forced to retreat”.

Although I won't attempt to “arm-chair quarterback” the engagement, there are some serious questions I would like answered. The first and most pressing, from where I am sitting, is what was our immediate response to this incursion? Have we sent more Guardsmen and/or Active Duty detachments, air support, etc. Have we changed the R.O.E. for all border sites along our southern line of demarcation? If you click on the link at the top of the article, it will show you video press coverage of the incident. I am wondering what role the Guardsmen were there to fulfill as it says they called in Border Patrol for assistance. I would like to know what profile these “illegals” fit into. Were they Mexican military? Now before you go calling me paranoid, let me (as my bro Dave likes to say) lay one on you.

First, why don't you take a trip over to The Minuteman Civil Defense Corps and take a gander at article and accompanying video here.

When you are done with that, you can go here and read the article that has me so confused with statements, like this one, from Rafael Laveaga (spokesman for the Mexican Embassy).

"I strongly deny any incursions by the Mexican military as inaccurate allegations," Mr. Laveaga said. "The Mexican military is a well-respected institution with strict rules on how to control Northern Mexico. It maintains a protocol of not going within a mile of the border, and those who would trespass would be severely punished."

Now try here. So get bent, I am not out of line in asking about a military presence.

Not only do we have illegals who can get through our borders with less trouble than I have getting through the ticket counter at Disney, we also have a uniformed foreign military running 'heavy' cover for drug operations.

This is beyond ludicrous. Sir George and company have our brother's and sister's on the other side of the world, dying for the freedom of foreigners and the sovereignty of their new nation – “for your safety and mine”. At the same time we have a foreign military on U.S. Soil, a foreign civilian population coming in droves (read Reconquista and look up The Plan Of Aztlan) and our Georgy is doing what about it?

What the hell are you talking about? George is protecting us. You are right, he isn't involved in the Security and Prosperity Partnership of North America. Oh wait, he helped spear-head it. Sovereignty. We don't need that, do we? Bush and company are holding America's skirt over her head and selling our ass, one piece at a time, to the highest bidders.

We better get off of our collective duff and elect some officials that are Americans in more than just title. Some might be perfectly fine with Mexamericanada and figuring the conversion rates for the Amero, but I sure as hell am not.

To our volunteer militia with boots on the ground protecting all of us - thank you. Stay safe out there and keep your powder dry.

Hi-Tech Eclectic Redneck

Just wanted to post up a few 3 dimensional doodles that I have been messing around with.

Since Toy Story, I have loved the eye candy that CG art can provide. One day, I think the human actor will be replaced with one made of pixels. Then no more Baldwins, Penns, *insert nearly any ass-monkey actor you wish here* - that will be a wonderful day indeed. I know, I know, I am a dreamer.

These aren't very good, but later I will post new ones as I progress. And if you don't like it, don't look! If you want to see a bigger picture of ugly, I believe you can click on the picture for a larger version.

Helm. Just an attempt to model something that looks like it might be a gladiator style noggin bell.




Organic models are much more difficult, as is apparent by these substandard attempts. Yes, you are quite astute, he has no eyes. That is because I haven't figured out that part yet. No, I don't know who "he" is. Just some face stuck in my brain or maybe it belongs to one of those voices that just won't go away.




Anatomy study. This one hasn't progressed to the texturing and painting stage yet. As you can tell, there are all kind of offenses to the eye in this one. All I can do is continue to chip away at it. I must say it is fun and rewarding when something starts to take shape and become recognizable. You will note that I chose to use our law-makers, in Virginia, as reference subjects for this model's nether regions.




Well, there you have it. These are the ones I am least embarrassed to post on my blog. The rest are just atrocious.

Oh and one last thing. While I can think of no reason why anyone would want to take these images and use them for anything, I must point out that these images are copyrighted to me, Alan Deal.

Talk to ya soon.

Down but not out!

{Hysterical Laughter} – ALIVE, IT's ALIVE.

Down but not out! It is good to be back. I just wanted to drop a quick post to let you know that I am not actually dead or incarcerated. Things have gotten a little haywire, but the dust is finally settling. Leaking roof, broken torsion springs, broken pipes, burnt up thermostat, a bout of the crud, and finally a computer that went udders vertical – the “man” has been trying (unsuccessfully) to keep me down. After making a new tin-foil hat, with a lead paint lining, everything has gotten better. :-)

It took some doing but I am back up and will be posting tonight. Talk to ya soon.