What the?

Here we go again; another person who thinks he has something that merits reading. Another one of those damn bloggers that is sending our nation into ruin faster than Anna Nicole Smith can up-chuck a large pepperoni pizza. So, I imagine you are asking with a malcontented sigh, “O.K. Who is this knucklehead?”

The answer to that question is quite simple; I am one Alan Deal.

Not enough of an answer? O.K. You asked for it. I am a southern boy who by some miraculous wonder has reached the ripe old age of 32. Now when I tell you that I live in the fine state of Florida, some will cry “Southern Hell! Florida ain't no southern state, it is a damn displaced state of the Union.” If you are a politically correct southerner, I expect you would call Florida 'geographically challenged'. While at times I might agree with you, I have to say that you can be southern and live in Florida. “How the hell canya do that?”, you might ask.

Well, I have pushed a plow, held the box while my father shook a renegade swarm of bees into it – so we could put them in a hive, wrestled cows, warmed powdered milk to give to calves bought at auction, grown and picked okra, blackberries, pole beans, tomatoes, strawberries, corn, and lots of other edible delicacies, been out in the middle of the night with a flash light and a gig poking frogs and throwing them in a bucket – cleaning said frogs in the back of the truck as we returned to the house (occasionally testing both the aerodynamic properties and impact patterns of inedible parts on front doors and stationery objects), cleared property, split wood, dip snuff, ran fence, shot furry critters, cleaned and ate'em and I did then and still do call going to a cluster of retail outlets - “going to town” so if that ain't country...

Now that I have proven my southernness :) , I can continue. My occupation of choice is professional traveler but since I can't afford that I have settled for a phone guy. Ambiguous I know but that will just have to do for now. A huge reason for starting this blog was simply to write. As I am sure you can tell, I have the only the most tenuous grasp on the English language. So, I figure if I practice at this here literacy stuff, I am bound to get better at it. This blog will be a hodge-podge if you will (hell, it will be if you won't), a stew of topics and ideas that strike my fancy at a particular time. I am also hoping that this will serve as an outlet to vent frustration on various topics and people. That's right, there will probably be times that I rant like hell. I have found the perfect captive – my PC. On that note, I ain't PC on my PC – so if you find something offensive you are welcome to click one of those buttons up there that take you to your happy place. I think that is enough for a brief intro.

Talk to ya soon.